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January 09, 2006
the mysterious nature of endings.
Life is strange, unpredictable, and cruelly short sometimes.
Its hard to know even how to talk about these things with sufficient reverence because one questions the absolute unknown, uncontrollable and inevitable, which might have beauty at its heart. And yet the fact is the world has shifted, someone has passed from us. I'm always left wondering if they've gone somewhere better, and if there was small thing that could have happened differently so they would still be here. Or if there is some reason that we don't understand and in the end it will all be explained.
Maybe it sounds obvious, I don't know because I'm in it, I'm thinking about it. Like how one can't cling to everything forever, and yet so wants to. I don't want people to be left, and I don't want to think of my own leaving. Sigh.
This morning I learned of the death of a woman who had been a family friend, our next-door neighbor where I grew up. She was a favorite babysitter to my brother and me, and also other neighborhood kids. When I was little I thought she was the most beautiful woman on earth. She had long, dark, wavy hair, to the middle of her back, pale delicate skin, pink cheeks and huge dark eyes, she was a living Snow White who gave us airplane rides on the grass in the summertime. She was in high school and we looked up to her and watched as she studied, once she even spent time explaining algebra to my brother, who was enthralled by numbers. She went to Yale, which adults spoke of approvingly, and I thought to myself someday I wanted to be just like her, smart and beautiful.
Rightly she was named Grace, and at the age of 46, she is gone from a long illness with breast cancer.
She was dearly loved and will be missed.
*****
Also, a member of the biking community was killed in an accident with a car last week. I didn't know him but he was an active part of the larger biking scene, and well liked by many who were acquainted with him. He was 50 years old, a friend of many, a father, a husband, a Freak Biker For Life. He rode a chopper covered in blinky lights and equipped with a siren.
The details of what happened are unclear, but the story is that he was not riding but standing on the sidewalk at the time. Then a van hit a cab, which ran up onto the sidewalk and hit him as he stood next to his bicycle. This was on Western Ave, near Augusta, in front of a laundromat, where a smallish shrine has been erected.
Anyway, Saturday evening there was a memorial ride, called by a close friend of Isai, the man who was killed. A group of riders gathered on North Ave, and rode to the site of the accident to pay our respects.
I think a lot of us are still left with a feeling like we need to do something.
This is the gathering of riders at the beginning of the ride.
There were lots of freakbikes, including Travesty on the drumbike.
This is the drumbike by itself, before the ride.
And plus here I am in my orange scarf, getting started on the ride.
Big thanks to Don S. for permission to use his photos.
Posted by at January 9, 2006 12:56 PM
Comments
I think it is good to cling to things a while. You have to let go of them eventually, and most people cling to things too long, but it is good to cling for a while.
Be well, pippy.
Posted by: rob helpychalk at January 9, 2006 03:42 PM
>
Posted by: David at January 9, 2006 04:17 PM
FBFL stands for freak biker for life.
I don't know if Isai used this label with himself, but he did show the desire to ride a chopper through it all. I liked him, but it seems I did not know him that well either. The accident leaves me with the feeling that it could have been me. It could be anybody that is lost, so reach over and squeeze the one's you care about. There is a limited amount of time for us to do so.
Posted by: travesty at January 10, 2006 06:45 AM
beautiful,
Posted by: johnr at January 10, 2006 02:26 PM
Besides the algebra, I also remember Grace for her pointing out all the drug references in Beatles songs and trying to teach me what LSD stands for (which, at the time, I was too young to be able to pronounce).
Posted by: Thomas at January 12, 2006 04:16 PM
Omg, I totally forgot about that ! Its true, in addition to being beautiful and smart, she was pretty hip to all that stuff. Well it was the 70s.
Posted by: pippy at January 12, 2006 05:34 PM